I used to be twitter obsessed.
Like, REALLY twitter obsessed. I tweeted fifty thousand tweets and pressed the like button two hundred thousand times in the span of a year. I had 700 followers, an impressive number if I didn’t also follow 700 people, and I was neck deep in a magical place I’m going to call “CS twitter.”
Now “CS twitter”, as I like to call it, is just like your regular run-of-the-mill twitter community. You have the “IDGAF” edgelords, the “I-need-a-hit-tweet-or-I’m-going-to-die” clout chasers, the “diehard supporters” fans, and then also the “Faze blew a 15–11 lead to give NA their first and only major” meme lords. If any of those words made sense to you, I am sincerely sorry for your loss.
Now in this community was a man I’m going to call Bob. Bob was not a good guy!
In fact, I’m pretty sure he was a pedophile, although I’m not 100% on the details. But Bob is important because Bob was my friend.
CS Twitter didn’t like Bob very much, and clowned on him every chance they got. Which is fair. And me, being the good friend I am, decided that I wanted to defend Bob. He was my friend, after all, and good friends stick up for each other. (which is fair..?)
A month, 2 account deactivations, and several screenshots involving the n-word later, I was right back at square one. I wasn’t feeling any better about the whole situation, and half of CS twitter had already blocked or muted me. Fair. I wasn’t the best guy when it came to keeping emotions in check.
A friend is someone you trust, someone you talk to and someone you vent to. Being someone’s friend means that you support them through their highs and lows, their mistakes and their triumphs. A good friendship means that it’s almost impossible to break the bond with each other. You’re both confident enough in the relationship that when someone screws up, not only do you call them out for screwing up, but you stay friends, because that’s what friends do.
That was one of the earliest mistakes I made with my friend “Bob.” When the entire drama happened, the reason why I was so aggressive in trying to defend him was I was scared. Not only did I feel like I had to justify the relationship to others, I felt like I was trying to justify the relationship with myself. I wrote long threads and 4 page essays, I argued on twitter, and exposed a person for saying the N-word to further prove my point. I wanted to point out there was something wrong with everyone. I was so close to truly getting it, too.
2–3 years later I’m here, posting about a furry drama that I literally shouldn’t be caring about, but I do because it’s Jacob. Jacob, the kid that played cs with me. Jacob, who talks with me about the pro cs scene and religion and life. Jacob, the nice kid who never asks anything of me yet lets me ask things of him.
Maybe nothing has changed ever since that time with “Bob.” Maybe I’m just doing the same thing over again, but I know Jacob. I know that he’s really awkward, and sometimes says dumb stuff that he doesn’t really mean.
I’m not writing because I’m trying to justify my relationship with Jacob. I don’t need justification. I’m his friend. That’s all I fucking need. I’m writing this because I know there are people who are like me, who felt the need to defend a friend on this hellhole of a site.
A good friendship means you don’t have to apologize or be thankful for anything they do. It comes as expected of you. And while the actions accused with Jacob are wrong, it doesn’t mean I’m going to stop being his friend. Because friendship should be more powerful than what a random stranger on the internet says about someone.
